by emma | Jan 6, 2006 | Faith
Look at yesterdays post, ‘yes’. Funny how your feelings change so quickly.
Over the last few days, I’ve really felt an awful lot more, the cost of my dreams. Remember when I shared the vision God gave my Exodus team of Generation 24, a generation seeking after Gods’ face? Thats the vision. Translating it into school… seeing a school come alive to the glory of God. That’s the dream.
But man, is it costly. Been hard watching friends fall away from God, not really want Him so much anymore. Been hard trying to lead CU with the integrity and vision God longs to see. Its been hard not having the kinda of accountability I’d like to have.
These dreams cost everything.
Are they worth it? YES! I still want to see my dreams realised. I long to see Jesus enthroned in my life, in CU, in the whole school, in the community… worldwide.
Yes, these dreams cost. But this is what I was born for… I’m ready.
by emma | Jan 5, 2006 | Faith
Yes to everything You ask of me.
Yes to following You.
Yes without a blueprint.
Yes to giving up what You ask.
Yes to taking up what You ask.
Yes to trusting You.
Yes for however long it takes.
Yes, no matter what follows, Yes to You.
Yes to everything You ask of me.
by emma | Dec 8, 2005 | Faith
What a week guys. What a week. I’ve been so challenged this week. I have no idea if this post is going to come out in any kind of coherent form, but I think I need to post it anyway.
Really struggled this week, if i’m being honest. Seems like when one thing gets you down, everything else gets to you more, like your emotions are heightened or something. Being honest about how I’m feeling is not one of my strong points, in fact transparency is probably my weakest point. It’s hard to let other people see your flaws, your weaknesses… thats human nature, right? Self-preservation and all that.
I’ve raved about Red Moon Rising on here many times before, and I’m making reference to it here again because this is one book that continues to simply transform my life, challenging me and making me ask questions – and search for the answers! There’s a chapter in it particularly that many of these following thoughts have come out of it, so rather than constantly refer to it, heres the big reference!
Pain is a difficult subject. I’m sure we’ve all heard the questions… How could a ‘good’ God allow suffering? You know, i’ve been thinking about this lately, and heres what I’m getting…
Think about how much it hurts us to think about suffering, how hard it is for us to understand.
Here’s my question: Do you think God does not feel the pain too?
Do you think a God who is so holy and yet so close to His people, do you think this God can possibly NOT feel our pain? What must it have been like for him to watch his Son die? I guess this point particularly has come from Cheryl’s death, thinking about how her family must be feeling. But God not only watched his Son die – he sent him to die. The only way I can comprehend this is to put it in terms of my family. Its like my dad sending my little brother to die, for example, an organ transplant or something similar, so that this other young person we have never met and do not know, can live. It comes back to Isaiah 43 – “I have traded their lives for yours.”
I guess the stuff i’ve been thinking about from Red Moon Rising is about Paul’s ‘thorn in the flesh’. Pain is inevitable – this is a broken, hurting, imperfect world. Maybe pain is the thing that keeps us depending on God? We can’t do this alone. We are witnessing such amazing blessings, seeing tremendous victories, and at the same time experiencing incredible suffering – whether that be financial, physical, or spiritual warfare. Maybe pain is our thorn in the flesh, the thing that keeps us from boasting about these things. Yes, we are living in the day of God’s favour… we are blessed… and yet, we will not boast, this is not our work, it is clear that God is moving through this place in mighty ways. I’ll say that again, because I know we do this unintentionally at times – we can not boast, for this is God’s work. His signature is all over it. What a dangerous wonder.
I’ll be honest… I dont know the answer to some of these questions. I dont know for sure why God allows pain and suffering. But here’s something I do know… “All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord.”
God, continue to move in this place,
flood the streets and the corridors of my school
with your holy presence.
May my life be a sacrifice to You.
May my every breath sing Your praise.
God, show Your glory here.
by emma | Dec 2, 2005 | Faith, Words
On Wednesday night, a young girl I knew through Wash Basin took her own life. These last few days have been long, hard, difficult days for many – for her family especially, and her friends, both in school and in the WB. Tomorrow is Cheryls’ funeral. The words below are quoted from my favourite book, Red Moon Rising, and seem to me to describe the situation perfectly… Thursday night in the WB was so very sad, she will be missed terribly, but at the same time, several people became Christians for the first time. We seem to have grown accustomed to experiencing the good with the bad, the blessing with the heartbreaks…
Amid fantastic blessing and monstrous answers to prayer, we are contending with sickness, family problems, near exhaustion and even bereavement… We managed to laugh, realizing we’re not a very ‘victorious’ bunch to be leading anything!
It’s the best of times and the worst of times all at once…
This really is a day of God’s favour, in which he is doing ‘immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine’. It’s just that we never thought it would feel like this, did we?
by emma | Nov 12, 2005 | Books, Faith
“Religion is a big, beautiful, ugly thing. I read recently where Augustine said, “The church is a whore, and it is my mother.” And for reasons I don’t understand, Jesus loves the church. And I suppose He loves the church with the same strength of character He displays in His love for me. Sometimes it is difficult to know which is the greater miracle.”
[Don Millar]
You know, I finished this book about 3 weeks ago, and I have started a new book, but somehow I keep finding myself back at Millars’ words. I was thinking about the words above, when Millar says that it is difficult to imagine which is the greater miracle – God loving me, or God loving the church. And it’s so true. I’m sure we all grip about the church at some point, God knows I do – it’s not relevant, i’m not getting anything from it, the worship just isn’t my style… need I go on? The church is not perfect. As long as the church is filled with human beings, it will never be perfect. I think I forget that. I am not perfect, and I’m pretty sure no one in my local church is perfect. So then why do we expect our churches to be perfect?
Something else this got me thinking about was how Jesus loves me. Jesus really loves me. Did you catch that? Jesus really LOVES me. A friend painted me a picture of this a few nights ago,. heres how she put it… It’s like, God’s sitting in this big rocking chair, just rocking back and forth, as you do… and He’s just thinking about me. Thinking to Himself, ‘Wow. She’s so beautiful.’ ‘Wow, she’s just amazing.’ Can you picture that? God takes time to just sit and think about you. That thought blew my mind. How awesome. How loved.
by emma | Nov 6, 2005 | Faith
“It must have been wonderful to spend time with Christ, with Somebody who liked you, loved you, believed in you, and sought a closeness foreign to skin-bound man. A person would feel significant in is presence. After all, those who knew Christ personally went on to accomplish amazing feats, proving unwavering devotion. It must have been thrilling to look into the eyes of God and have him look back and communicate that human beings, down to the individual, are of immense worth and beauty and worthy of intimacy with each other and the Godhead.”
[Don Millar]
I was just thinking about this again today, and my first reaction was, ‘Wouldn’t it have be great to have Jesus with you all the time? I wish I could see Him too.’
But heres the thing… He is, and I do.
Its just not in the same way. As a Christian, I am a new creation… God lives in me. He’s promised that He’s never going to leave me… ever! That He’s always with me, always has been with me, and always will be with me. Knowing that should be the joy of my heart.
Knowing that Jesus, the Son of God, who loved me so much that He willingly died for me…. did you catch that? He DIED for me!… Knowing that He is looking at me, that He thinks I’m important… Wow. What a confidence booster. It’s not about self-worth or self-esteem… it’s Christ-esteem… He’s everything.
And He tells me I’m important, valued and loved.
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