I’m going to Edinburgh tomorrow for the day…
I’m learning that I need to be alone to rest and refresh. I’m learning that I need to plan regular time in where I do that. If I don’t, other things (good, worthwhile things) will crowd in and I wont rest. I’m learning how much I need to depend on Jesus for everything.
I’m also learning how much I talk and don’t do. There is such a dichotomy between what I say and what I do. I’m working on that one. I long to be a person of integrity. I long to be someone whose yes is yes and no is no. Someday I will be that person.
So, tomorrow I am in Edinburgh. On my own. With a book or two. A few cups of coffee. A park visit. Hopefully lunch in my favourite restaurant there. A camera. I will be unobtainable for the most part. See you on Sunday… perhaps!
“The truth is, we’re always a bit restles. We’re supposed to be. This is not a flaw in our faith, it is faith’s substance. It is a divine ruse to keep us from making permanent settlement this side of eternity…
When we recognise that our loneliness, our hunger, our weariness, our disappointment – that these are not final verdicts but only rumours of things unseen, it changes their meaning. It empties them of their power to defeat us. It fills them with an energy to spur us toward deeper hope.”
[The Rest Of God – Mark Buchanan]
I finished this book today (sitting in the blazing sunshine in Offshore drinking a coffee… it’s good!) and came across this gem of a passage as it draws to a close. When I read this, I suddenly went, “yes!” That’s me. Restlessness is ok, it leads to deeper dependancy on Abba, God. All the things I battle with, they lead depper into Abba. I am constantly being reminded how much all is required of us is to lift our eyes of ourselves and fix them on Jesus… he’ll do the rest.
Soooooo good to be back. I can’t even explain how I feel now in being back.
Got in about 10pm last night.
Church this morning. Jamie is doing a series on sex, started last week. Refreshingly honest.
Curlers for lunch with a load of mates.
Oran Mor for rugby with some girlies.
Dinner with Stoopsie and a new friend.
Rest is coming…
Who, if I cried out, would hear me among the angels’
hierarchies? And even if one of them suddenly
pressed me against his heart, I would perish
in the embrace of his stronger existence.
For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror
which we are barely able to endure and are awed
because it serenely disdains to annihilate us.
Each single angel is terrifying.
[Duino Elegies – Rainer Maria Rilke]
I am rediscovering how much I love the work of Rilke.