The Answer…

Is faith enough, To calm a world of fears,
Your blood enough, To wash away my sins?
And is grace enough, To still a raging soul,
Your love enough, To wipe away my tears?

Jesus you’ve carried me through,
Here in your arms,
I find my healing.

© Emma Boyd, 2005

Grace enough?

I’ve got this phrase stuck in my head…

I’m thinking about it.

Will get back to you.

Grace enough…

Save Me From Myself

Tonight I have been reminded of how much I miss this guy I fell in love with… and man, it hurts so much.

“…Take the pain away. It hurts so bad.
I´m desperate without vision and I´m lost without hope. I´m lost without you.
I feel torn apart…

Father, why do I have this love within me if he does not feel the same for me?
Why did I have to fall for him in the first place?
Why do you let me do the same mistake again and again?
I know you proved your love for me at the cross, yet I struggle to see it.
The fight for my soul…

How can it be, that I believe we were created for each other while he can´t see it at all.
Pick me up Lord. Save me from myself. How can I let go?
I believe in you Father. I believe in supernatural power. I believe in miracles.
How can I possibly stop hoping.
I lay it down at the cross…

I feel so small and helpless. I AM small and helpless.
Defend me, oh Lord, for my shield fell down and my sword lies broken beneath my feet.
Help me to have faith. Faith in love.
You have the power to heal my broken heart. You have the power to set me free…”

These words… they express the deepest longings in my heart. God, save me from myself.

Perfection? Eh?

“Religion is a big, beautiful, ugly thing. I read recently where Augustine said, “The church is a whore, and it is my mother.” And for reasons I don’t understand, Jesus loves the church. And I suppose He loves the church with the same strength of character He displays in His love for me. Sometimes it is difficult to know which is the greater miracle.”

[Don Millar]

You know, I finished this book about 3 weeks ago, and I have started a new book, but somehow I keep finding myself back at Millars’ words. I was thinking about the words above, when Millar says that it is difficult to imagine which is the greater miracle – God loving me, or God loving the church. And it’s so true. I’m sure we all grip about the church at some point, God knows I do – it’s not relevant, i’m not getting anything from it, the worship just isn’t my style… need I go on? The church is not perfect. As long as the church is filled with human beings, it will never be perfect. I think I forget that. I am not perfect, and I’m pretty sure no one in my local church is perfect. So then why do we expect our churches to be perfect?

Something else this got me thinking about was how Jesus loves me. Jesus really loves me. Did you catch that? Jesus really LOVES me. A friend painted me a picture of this a few nights ago,. heres how she put it… It’s like, God’s sitting in this big rocking chair, just rocking back and forth, as you do… and He’s just thinking about me. Thinking to Himself, ‘Wow. She’s so beautiful.’ ‘Wow, she’s just amazing.’ Can you picture that? God takes time to just sit and think about you. That thought blew my mind. How awesome. How loved.


“It must have been wonderful to spend time with Christ, with Somebody who liked you, loved you, believed in you, and sought a closeness foreign to skin-bound man. A person would feel significant in is presence. After all, those who knew Christ personally went on to accomplish amazing feats, proving unwavering devotion. It must have been thrilling to look into the eyes of God and have him look back and communicate that human beings, down to the individual, are of immense worth and beauty and worthy of intimacy with each other and the Godhead.”

[Don Millar]

I was just thinking about this again today, and my first reaction was, ‘Wouldn’t it have be great to have Jesus with you all the time? I wish I could see Him too.’

But heres the thing… He is, and I do.

Its just not in the same way. As a Christian, I am a new creation… God lives in me. He’s promised that He’s never going to leave me… ever! That He’s always with me, always has been with me, and always will be with me. Knowing that should be the joy of my heart.

Knowing that Jesus, the Son of God, who loved me so much that He willingly died for me…. did you catch that? He DIED for me!… Knowing that He is looking at me, that He thinks I’m important… Wow. What a confidence booster. It’s not about self-worth or self-esteem… it’s Christ-esteem… He’s everything.

And He tells me I’m important, valued and loved.