by emma | Jan 22, 2006 | Faith, Words
“May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.
May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.
Amen.”
[A Franciscan Benediction]
by emma | Jan 21, 2006 | Everything Else
… The ‘Park’ Post!
I have a fascination with parks… I really love them! So coming soon is a post with some pics from a few of my favourite parks!
Thats all for now!
by emma | Jan 18, 2006 | Faith
Only me on my knees
Singing holy, holy
And somehow all that matters now is
You are holy, holy
[Nicole Nordeman]
I am spent.
This journey… its hard to find words to describe it. I’ve been taking more time lately to just be with God. Making time for just me and Him. Private praise in my bedroom. A walk along the beach in prayer. A drive with music drawing me closer to Him. Getting up earlier before school to have more time to read my Bible. And I love it.
I’m growing closer to God. And at the same time, He’s pushing me out further – giving me opportunities to witness, God-conversations with friends, opportunities to encourage and inspire. Enlarging my teritory and blessing me indeed.
Its exhilirating… and tiring. Finding a balance. I feel spent… my life poured out for Gods glory… and I’ve never felt more alive.
Those lyrics are so perfectly me right now. It’s all that matters… Lord, You are holy.
by emma | Jan 14, 2006 | Faith
Therefore I will block her path with thornbushes;
I will wall her in so she cannot find her way.
She will chase after her lovers but not catch them;
she will look for them but not find them.
[Hosea 2:6-7]
I came across this verse today when I was reading ‘Captivating’. It just hit me. This is what God is doing. Does it ever cross your mind that maybe our struggles aren’t always from the devil? I was thinking about this today. Sometimes God has to put things in our way, stop us in our tracks, to stop us doing stupid things, things He doesnt have for us. Sometimes (for example, in my disappointment in being single) God puts our struggles there to make us see that He is the only one who can truly fill our needs. The pain we experience is actually what saves us. Jesus has to thwart our plans of self-redemption, otherwise we’d never really look to Him for our complete rescue. Yes, we might ask for salvation… but we’d never truly depend on Him for eveyrthing. Inside, we wouldn’t trust.
So theres my thoughts for today… the pain is what saves me.
by emma | Jan 13, 2006 | Faith
God I want to know you more…. Please… I really just want to know you more.
Let me see your face.
I want to know you more.
by emma | Jan 12, 2006 | School
So, I had an exam today, my first maths module (counts towards my final mark!), thought you might like to see it, saying as I keep going on about how much I love maths! I thought it was pretty good, the last question, 8ii was deadly, but hey, i took a guess! So here it is…
If anyone works out the last answer, let me know!
by emma | Jan 10, 2006 | Books
“I know I am not alone in this nagging sense of failing to measure up, a feeling of not being good enough as a woman. Every woman I’ve ever met feels it – something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough, and, I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy. The result is Shame, the universal companion of women. It haunts us, nipping at our heels, feeding on our deepest fear that we will end up abandoned and alone.
After all, if we were better women – whatever that means – life wouldn’t be so hard. Right? We wouldn’t have so many struggles; there would be less sorrow in our hearts. Why is it so hard to create meaningfull friendships and sustain them? Why do our days seem so unimportant, filled not with romance and adventure but with duties and demands? We feel unseen, even by those who are closest to us. We feel unsought – that no one has the passion or the courage to pursue us, to get past our messiness to find the woman deep inside. And we feel uncertain – uncertain what it even means to be a woman; uncertain what it truly means to be femine; uncertain if we are or ever will be.
Aware of our deep failings, we pour contempt on our own hearts for wanting more. Oh, we long for intimacy and for adventure; we long to be the Beauty of some great story. But the desires set deep in our hearts seem like a luxury, granted only to those women who get their acts together. The message to the rest of us – whether from a driven culture or a driven church – is try harder.”
[John + Stasi Eldredge, Captivating]
Really long quote today guys I know, but bear with me. I started reading this new book this morning – I have been wanting to read it for a long time, but this morning a friend passed it on to me to read… and its strange. I cant put it down, and yet I have to at times, I come so close to tears (which is probably not a good idea sitting in school!). It feels like it was wrote just for me. Ever had that?
I mean, girls (women)… what do you think of this? I guess this is prob one of the areas I struggle with most often, trusting that I am made beautiful in Christ and He loves me and knows whats best for me – and has the best for me. So many times I’ve wondered what was wrong with ME for wanting more, was I wrong for wanting more, does God not have more for me?
Any thoughts?
by emma | Jan 9, 2006 | Everything Else
How come love and romance is never like it is in the movies? No matter how complicated it is in films, it always works out, the girl always gets the guy. How come it cant be like that in life, just once?
Why’s it always a struggle? Complicated? Why’s love never just… simple.
I want a guy who will love me the way I need to be loved, who will make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. Who will look after me, be affectionate with me, take the lead. Someone who will let me love them.
Where is that guy? And what happens when you thought you found him? Am i just supposed to forget about him entirely? Forget what it felt like to be with him… what it still feels like when i’m around him?
I see him so often, we hang out, we spend time together. It’s great. And at the same time, its heartbreaking. Because the more I am with him, the more I see of him, his character, his heart, his love for God… the more I want to be with him.
by emma | Jan 6, 2006 | Faith
Look at yesterdays post, ‘yes’. Funny how your feelings change so quickly.
Over the last few days, I’ve really felt an awful lot more, the cost of my dreams. Remember when I shared the vision God gave my Exodus team of Generation 24, a generation seeking after Gods’ face? Thats the vision. Translating it into school… seeing a school come alive to the glory of God. That’s the dream.
But man, is it costly. Been hard watching friends fall away from God, not really want Him so much anymore. Been hard trying to lead CU with the integrity and vision God longs to see. Its been hard not having the kinda of accountability I’d like to have.
These dreams cost everything.
Are they worth it? YES! I still want to see my dreams realised. I long to see Jesus enthroned in my life, in CU, in the whole school, in the community… worldwide.
Yes, these dreams cost. But this is what I was born for… I’m ready.
by emma | Jan 5, 2006 | Faith
Yes to everything You ask of me.
Yes to following You.
Yes without a blueprint.
Yes to giving up what You ask.
Yes to taking up what You ask.
Yes to trusting You.
Yes for however long it takes.
Yes, no matter what follows, Yes to You.
Yes to everything You ask of me.
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