Defining Ourselves: Relentless Busyness & Nouwen

by emma | May 19, 2008 | Everything Else

I’ve been thinking about time a lot lately, and about how we always claim we never have enough. I was listen to a podcast recently that got me pondering this again. We love to define ourselves by what we do: student, pastor, dentist, administrator, artist, accountant…. on and on it goes.

As a society, we work longer and harder than ever before. Gotta get that presentation finished; need to do just a little bit more revision; can’t take a break now… Have we forgotten how to rest?

Over the past 5 months God has been breaking me down. Since I left university in January (hmm, not sure I ever officially blogged that… oh well!), I’ve just been pottering about, haven’t been working or anything. I knew initially that I needed to take some time off, to rest, to relax, to just be. I went traveling for a month (the States and England). But since I got back, I’ve been job hunting, unsuccessfully. It’s funny how much a lack of work has affected my mood at times. I’m trying to learn that I am not defined by what I do, really learn it, and not just give verbal ascent to the idea.

I’m struck by these words from Henri Nouwen:

When we enter into solitude to be with God alone, we quickly discover how dependent we are. Without the many distractions of our daily lives, we feel anxious and tense. When nobody speaks to us, calls on us, or needs our help, we start feeling like nobodies. Then we begin wondering whether we are useful, valuable, and significant. Our tendency is to leave this fearful solitude quickly and get busy again to reassure ourselves that we are ‘somebodies’. But this is a temptation, because what makes us somebodies is not other people’s responses to us but God’s eternal love for us.

I’m learning to play again. I have crayons on my desk. I stopped at the park on the way home and played on the swings for a while. I’m going for long walks. I’m trying to train my gaze again, to make it larger than ever before. And it’s hard. It takes so much effort, I feel like I’m relearning all the things I did in primary school and dreaming about those things again – the things I somehow was taught that I wasn’t good at or were only for children. I’m searching again for things that are life-giving and restorative for me, that I may be fully present with others and with myself.

Your shout: What things are life-giving and relaxing for you?

Bad Coffee Experience

by emma | May 17, 2008 | Everything Else

Today I headed out to try a new coffee house I’ve noticed a few times here in Glasgow’s Westend, name withheld just in case!

I walked past this place a few times heading into city centre, windows covered up to build suspense. The few words on the windows and the signage had all intrigued me, as it purported to be a place ‘where pixels meet people’ (True). I was intrigued, and so I’ve been meaning to call in since it opened a few weeks back.

I went in this afternoon with a book, hoping to grab a coffee and take in the surroundings. It was mid-afternoon, about 3pm. There were maybe half a dozen other people in too, eating and drinking. There were 4 staff working behind the counter. Definitely not under-staffed! I ordered my americano and plumped myself into a comfy seat, expecting a coffee shortly.

20 minutes later, slightly agitated, I went up to the counter to ask for my coffee… I’d already been approached at my seat once by a staff member asking me to pay… slightly odd I thought, but not really an issue, so I promptly paid, clearly still not having a coffee in my hands. When my coffee finally arrived, it was reasonable coffee, but the cup was roasting! I had to leave it sitting for a while so the cup could cool down… I get the whole hot cup thing, from my foray as a barista – there’s a cup-warming facility on almost all espresso machines, so that cups are slightly heated when serving coffee, it keeps the coffee warm for longer. This was taking the mic though… I couldn’t physically hold the cup or put it to my lips to drink from it was so hot!

I was really disappointed by this place… kinda weird atmosphere, was very quiet, small cups, hot cups, relatively expensive, poor service… I won’t be back.

Tell me about your coffee shop disappointments…?