There are a number of songs that I feel have had such a massive impact on me, so much so that I would say they’ve saved my life more times than once. A recent one of those songs is Stall Out by MuteMath…
Racing on a faultline
Bracing for a landslide
Conscious of everything getting harder
As the race goes underwater
I keep stalling out
I just can’t keep up
There’s alarming doubt
Am I good enough?
But you keep coming around
to convince me
It’s still far from over
(x3)
We are still far
We are still far
We are still far
from over
(repeat out)
On Saturday as part of our Geek Summit of awesomeness, we watched a few movies… and when I say a few, I mean we watched 4, back to back with brief breaks for coffee/tea/food/wine.
First up: Death Race [trailer]. Pretty amusing film about car racing and death set in a futuristic prison – with the future being 2012. Kinda ironic beginning about the economy tanking. Was fun to watch once, but probably wouldn’t watch it again.
Second: Son Of Rambo [trailer]. This was hilarious!! I heard all the hype when it was released, but didn’t really think it’d be my cup of tea… I was wrong! Loved it. Laugh out loud funny. Highly recommended.
Third: Die Welle (The Wave) [trailer]. German film based on a high school teachers experiment demonstrating what life is like under a dictatorship. Inevitably it all goes a bit wrong. A tad scary at times when you think about it, but an excellent film nonetheless.
Fourth: Taken [trailer]. Liam Neeson stars as a former spy whose daughter is kidnapped while on holiday in Europe. He, of course, mounts a one man mission to save her. Despite the rubbish reviews it initially got, we all enjoyed it!
[According to David Letterman (The Late Show on CBS)]
1. You just had a pre-meeting to discuss your strategy planning session for the new initiative to reduce poverty by increasing access to safe water/credit/food/health care through fair and equitable distribution to those with the right to said good or service through engagement with duty bearers in the government and other stakeholders and civil society organizations.
2. You just repeatedly slammed your head into your keyboard after spending the last 20 minutes trying to get your Skype conference call between Port au Prince, West Bank/Gaza, Delhi, Nairobi and New York to work only to fail miserably.
3. You realize that you can no longer squeeze into your cubicle past that cool hand-woven cloth from Mali, the wooden mask from Congo, the elephant figurine from Thailand and the rug from Afghanistan.
4. You just completed an annual report to your donor explaining that you’re very sorry that you only managed to accomplish 2 of your 14 objectives due to sudden onset of war, drought or an invasion of futuristic nano-robots.
5. You just finished explaining to the donor that you are likely to need a two-year extension and an extra $200,000 to hire an independent consulting company to come up with a plan to fight off the nano-robots, carry out said plan and then finish up the original activities.
6. You realize that you just used cheers, karibu, Insh’Allah or namaste in casual conversation despite the fact that you are neither English, Kenyan, Arab or Indian.
7. You realize that your favourite and most frequented cafe is located in Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam.
8. You just finished depressing a volunteer caller from the Red Cross for the 12th time this year who reluctantly agreed that you are not eligible to donate blood because you just got back from the Congolese jungle.
9. You’re pumped with antibiotics more frequently than a cow in a concentrated feeding operation
10. You tell yourself it’s not failure if you turn it into a lessons-learned document.
Spent the weekend at ‘Geek Summit’ in/around Edinburgh with some good friends from CAid. Had a lot of fun geeking out over movies & comic books. We caught the late showing on Friday night of the new Watchmen movie… it was phenomenal! You should all go see it.
She sits on the floor, face in her hands. It’s not the first time we’ve been here; yet I pray it will be the last.
We talk about our days, sharing the random happenings that constitute our daily routines. She tells me it feels like she’s been putting her affairs in order. Telling her story before it’s too late.
I’m not sure how to respond. In some ways she’s right – telling the stories has a finality about it. A sense of closure.
Closure, yes, but not the end.
A page break perhaps.
You can tell your story and let it be a testament to the fact that
you’re
still
here;
that you’ve made it this far and you’re not giving up now. It doesn’t mean you have to go away.
It’s an ending, not the end.
All of us need to tell our stories, to know that our lives matter. Every day we tell them in a myriad of ways: a chord progression in a song; the words in a blog post; a glance across the room that catches someone’s eye, begging to be understood.
In truth, we’re all searching for validation, aren’t we?
Maybe some of us are more honest about it, or maybe we just can’t hide our need as easily.
We all want someone to tell us that we matter, that their lives are made better for our being a part of it.
I wont claim to have any special wisdom, to be anything I’m not.
I’m a broken, messed up girl.
But I’m loved.
There are many days when I don’t feel that, many days when I don’t sense that affirmation. Many days when I wonder if the past will haunt me forever. Many nights when the tears just wont stop.
But I am loved; I am affirmed.
It’s true.
And because it’s true, so is this:
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