I’ve been thinking a lot recently about my story, my journey. Chatting with Stewart for the Something Beautiful podcast sparked it a little. I’ve been going back again and again to that list I wrote last year, of the person I want to be.
I’ve been really unsettled today. Something within me has been disquieted. In the busyness of the day, and in the stillness of the night, I’ve been asking God to reveal what it is. And I keep coming back to this:
I fear that I will end up alone. I struggle with intimacy in relationships (of any kind); even though I crave it, when it starts to appear, I get fearful that it won’t last, so I push people away. Crazy, eh? I even start to feel like that in relationships that are really strong. I start to wonder if the friendship will last. I get caught up in wondering if it’ll still be there in a years time that I miss the fact that
I’m learning so much to revel in the now. That I am here, I am alive, now. Enjoy it! Life’s too short. We all screw up, we all have our flaws.
We’re all broken… but God can make all the pieces fit together.
Hope is real.