It is a month today since I left East Africa and returned to the UK, and I’ve spent a lot of time over the past month wrestling for words to wrap around the emotions and experiences of the trip.
Before I left, my greatest fear was that I wouldn’t be a good enough photographer. I learnt a lot about my style of photography, that I love natural, unposed stuff. I love to work unobtrusively where possible. I like to capture life as it happens, not just in set-up moments. That said, I grew in confidence in setting up shots, asking people to do something or stand somewhere for a shot.
I discovered that I have a passion for cities! I was returning by bus from a couple of days up in Kamuli district, and as we got closer and closer to Kampala I could feel the excitement growing in me. I love the hustle and bustle, the constant interaction between people. It’s been interesting to discover this, as someone who grew up in the middle of nowhere! I still love to be able to escape to the ocean and the hills, but I adore being in big cities and around people – I need the stimulation that comes from it! Which also helps explain why I find it hard to sit in an office all day long!
I was reminded of how much I’m called to be a connector. I’m gifted at networking – its the one gift I have that I feel I can honestly be open about! I was reminded of it as I had coffee with a friend in my favourite place in Kampala, Bancafe: I’m from Northern Ireland, live in Scotland, she’s from Norway, we met in Latvia, and had coffee in Uganda…! Over the course of the trip I got to meet a lot of amazing people from all over the world – NI, Scotland, England, Australia, Holland, Uganda, Rwanda, USA… It’s exciting to think of the potential there is there to connect people with their passions and to each other.
I learnt a lot about the difficulties of being white. It is almost impossible to get past the fact that you are white, and I confess that sometimes I struggled with cynicism about peoples motives in wanting to befriend us. It was hard at times to move beyond that and build meaningful relationships.
I spent a lot of time dealing with the rawness of my own heart, and dreaming about the future. I’m still dealing with so much in my own life, still wrestling with my own brokenness, yet secure in the knowledge that I am loved, and that I am getting there… step by step – even if those steps are sometimes miniscule.
The phrase below is one of the things that has been ruminating in my mind ever since I heard it, a few weeks into my trip. I feel it will continue to be there for some time to come!
I read Brian McLarens latest book, Finding Our Way Again, on the train back up to Glasgow yesterday. In it, he relates a story of being in a church one morning where they used a particular shared confession in the service. I was struck by it, and wanted to share it…
Gracious God,
our sins are too heavy to carry,
too real to hide,
and too deep to undo.
Forgive what our lips tremble to name, what our hearts can no longer
bear, and what has become for us a consuming fire of judgement.
Set us free from a past that we cannot change;
open to us a future in which we can be changed;
and grant us grace to grow more and more in your likeness and image,
through Jesus Christ,
the light of the world. Amen.
It’s been a busy few days in London, but enjoyable for the most part! I’ve been at the Christian Aid HQ for induction and training with the rest of the gap staff, and it’s been great to have time to spend getting to know each other a bit better. They’re great folks, and I’m looking forward to working with them and especially to our trip to DRC in October.
We’ve spent most of the day stuck in a basement room not very well lit, so have been escaping to the roof top garden for lunch, and to the local cafes and bars for evening entertainment! Spent some time in the Hub, and recently discovered that scooterworks (somewhere Jonny Baker raves about) is just down the street from the office!
That said, looking forward to my return to Glasgow this evening!
So, I’m very excited right now because in the past week two different couples I know in Sydney just got engaged! Wonderful new friends I met in Uganda, and I’m very excited for them indeed.
Got invited out to Erin & Cam’s wedding in Jan 2009. Would love to be able to go, but cheapest flights I can find are £1000. Not bad, but more money that I really have right now. Anyone want to help me make this trip? Anyone need some portraits/ general photographs taken in the UK? Know anyone in the Sydney area who would like some photography done? Spread the word!
Notes from Mark Yaconelli’s last message at the NYA2008.
Acts 17 – “to an unknown God”
This God wants to free you to love.
We live with blankets wrapped around our hearts to muffle them.
Most of us have not been loved well, so we don’t know how to love well.
How can we love well?
• See people – when was the last time someone took you in with their eyes? Allow yourself to be seen too.
• Hear people – we pay people to listen to us now! Truly caring, not just the ‘professional face’.
The real sin in this world is that people are losing the ability to feel, they’re becoming numb.
One of the four streams of conversation this weekend at the NYA is the issue of social media and how it impacts us. We looked briefly at seven different spaces:
Secret spaces (text, IM)
Group spaces (Facebook, Bebo)
Publishing spaces (blog, flickr)
Performing spaces (Second Life)
Participating spaces (marches, meetings)
Watching spaces (TV, theatre, gigs)
We talked a lot about what the future of media looks like, and about the need to find appropriate filters for the media, otherwise we will be bombarded with an information overload. We also discussed whether the immediacy of news was a good or a bad thing.
Loved these quotes:
“Once we rid ourselves of traditional thinking we can get on with creating the future.”
[James Bertrand]
“It was the end of something. It was the beginning of everything.”
[From a Nokia ad campaign – see below]
“Tools don’t get socially interesting until they get technologically boring.”
[Clay Shirkey]
Mark Yaconelli is the keynote speaker this weekend at NYA2008, and I have to say it’s the first time that I’ve actually heard any of his thinking. I’ve been aware of books by both him and his late father Mike for a while now, but haven’t quite managed to get round to reading any of them. Mark is an absolute master storyteller – I could sit and listen to him for hours, the way he draws you into the narrative and makes you feel invested in it.
Anyway, here are some notes from his message yesterday morning.
Have a feeling that if Jesus were here, he wouldn’t use so many words. He would look & really see you. And he would listen.
The invitation in the first part of the passage (Acts 1): that we would be good receivers.
After Jesus’ baptism, when he is told he is beloved: the difference between Jesus & us is that Jesus believes it!
The work of the Christian faith is to be a good receiver, to learn to be loved.
How many of us are driven by this anxiety about what we’re going to “do”?
We need to slow down long enough to receive, to notice.
We’re scared to leave the prisons of our mind, because we know their systems, it’s secure. But Jesus wants us to be free! The prisons aren’t real.
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