A few weeks ago, I wrote this post about my experiences, good and bad, growing up in Northern Ireland. It sparked a few interesting conversations, and I guess I felt that it deserved a bit of a follow up.
Maybe it was my fault for writing in to vague & generic a tone. I don’t mean to paint N.I. with such broad strokes… for all it’s size, it is an incredibly diverse little country.
My post was written from a deeply personal perspective; shaped by my experiences growing up there. Others have had completely different experiences, no less valid.
The post was coming from a place of truly grappling with my past for the first time; with being ready to start to face the fears and hurts I carry from it, as well as the joys.
Those experiences I wrote of come from a particular set of circumstances.
It comes from growing up in the D.U.P. heartland, “Ulster Says Never” area.
It comes from watching a friend be run out of her home because she was the “wrong” religion for the village.
It comes from a lack of space to question.
It comes from attending 5 funerals by the age of 23, only one of which was for someone above the age of 30.
Those are a few of the things that have shaped, moulded, and marked me. They are (some of) what I wrestle with in my dark nights. So, please forgive me if my previous post was too broad-sweeping and perhaps not quite honest enough. It’s all a learning curve, right?
Peace, and hope to you. This is a moving and telling post. I’m in no position to know but my instinct is that you should let this side of your past into the light more often rather than less. If you look at the post down my blog’s front page at the moment (“SHIT HITS FAN”) it might give you an idea of where I’m coming from.
All best wishes.
There is tragedy all over the world, not just in Northern Ireland. There is hatred all over the world not just in Northern Ireland. Just because you have had a negative experience in Northern Ireland doesn’t make it a horrible place, and just because you have moved away from NI doesn’t mean you are better than anyone who stays and loves and is proud of the the country they come from.
I really am fed up with people from Northern Ireland, moving away and doing nothing but bitch about how Northern Ireland is this terrible, intolerant, hate filled place.
At what point did you say Northern Ireland was a horrible place?
And there is nothing quite like having a go at someone who is sharing their experience from the comfort of anonymity…
I’m glad you shared your experience Emma. It doesn’t make Northern Ireland a bad place, it makes your experience a sad one which we can only learn from if people share their stories, both good and bad.
It doesn’t take us long to forget and to repeat the same mistakes all over the world.
My uncle lives in Belfast and loves it. But his experience isn’t yours.
@ Ross: Thanks for your encouragement – and for the nod to your post. It’s a very telling post, and I can see where you’re coming from. I guess the places and the things that have marked us the most are sometimes the ones that are most difficult to share. But here’s to trying…
@ anon: Thanks for taking time to comment. I’m sorry you feel like I’ve come across as thinking I’m better than where I’m from, or that I think it’s a horrid place altogether. In fact, I believe I was trying to say the exact opposite with this post, and the previous post to a lesser degree. I’ve been trying to say that I’m looking for good things in it, that I know they’re there and that I’ve just missed them at points. Maybe not that often, but I have talked about my love for NI on here in the past. The north coast is still my favourite place on the planet. I’ve had experiences there that have scarred me, yes, but I have also had experiences that have encouraged & challenged & changed me, pushed me to be better than I am. In no way am I trying to say it’s simply a “terrible, intolerant, hate filled place”, as you suggested, and I’m sorry if it came across that way for you.
@ Stewart: Thanks for your feedback. Belfast has become such a great city, I love visiting it now. My experience was just that – mine. Personal. Individual. Not a statement about the entirety of the Northern Irish population. Maybe I need to share some more of the good stories from the NI years as well, but that wasn’t the point with these posts…. the point was supposed to be a way of marking a shift in thinking, a desire to seek the good above all else.