We’re all searching for meaning.
We want someone to tell us our life matters. Myself included. I’ve been the girl on the floor in the middle of the night in tears. The silent sobs that feel like every breath is going to be the last.
There are these words that seem to define periods. Hope kept coming up in 2008. I think story is 2009’s word. Not that hopes gone anywhere, mind you.
Stephen wanted someone to tell him his life mattered, to know that someone cares.
Dish has been reflecting on how our dreams change over time, all the while shaping us into who we are becoming.
Ben’s created a whole conference around the idea of Story.
Our stories are as instinctive and as necessary as our breathe. It shapes us. It’s who we are. Story is the stuff that we are made of.
Emma, this post astounds me… Not only with it’s beautiful, almost poetic writing, but also in the fact that it makes my spiritual geiger counter go balistic!
I know for a fact that in the past I’ve been guilty of geographically limiting God… of forgetting that the Holy Spirit completely transends space… of creating a centricity around local movements, thoughts and emotions and failing to realise that more often than not, God is whispering to his children all over the world, not just to a group of Christians in a wee prayer room in Belfast. For those of us in ‘that wee prayer room’, last years’ word was definately ‘hope’ and I can’t speak for everyone, but I know I struggled with what I should do with it. Time and time again I wondered if was a new hope for Belfast, for Northern Ireland, for the UK or for the world… A friend of mine echoed these sentiments in his own blog http://tinyurl.com/lek5pg and, often together, we tried to work through the importance of this word that God had given us. Its so amazing to think that we weren’t the only ones considering it and in my mind now I just have this amazing picture of churches, prayer rooms, even houses, all over the world talking about this thing which God had put on their hearts… this ‘hope’. You’re right though, as we march ever-through 2009, I’ve definately sensed that same change… That same shifting in focus. You mentioned that for you ‘hope’ hadn’t gone anywhere. I’d be lying if I said the same thing. Just a few weeks back, in fact, I felt decidedly ‘hope-less’. I guess, though, that it was infact a blessing in the long run. My friend and I once considered whether or not you could truely understand hope without first understanding a lack of it… I can now speak from experience and say that whenever you find even a little bit of hope amidst of sea of hopelessness, it is the definition of a blessing.
You’re right, we are all searching for meaning and some of the stuff that I wrote last week showed very clearly that I have no clue whatsoever as to what that is… Your post, however, has given me a lot to think and pray about. In ‘that same wee prayer room’ I guess nearly two years ago, a friend of mine, a true brother in Christ turned to me and said “James, I just feel like God wants people to hear your ‘story’.” I still pray for wisdom in understanding what he (He) meant… I’ve never known entirely what to do with that… I still don’t… All I know is that today, it seems somehow more important than ever. Thanks be to God for a wonderful post sister.
@ Jim: I’ve been thinking about how to reply to this for days, and I still don’t really know for sure… so I’m just gonna say, thanks for sharing this part of your story. The wrestling & the uncertainty & the searching are as much a part of our stories as the joys & discoveries & celebrations. I’m glad God is prompting you, using you, and using your friends to gently nudge…