Vulnerability, Pain & Ice Cream

You might have noticed a theme in my Oxford trip, and in my trips generally: food.

I love food. Love the different textures and tastes, the sights and smells. Love how a simple smell can get me salivating.

Oxford was no different than my usual trips. A milkshake here. Some Moroccan tapas there. A fresh cookie here. The best ice cream I’ve ever tasted there.

ice cream

We sat over a late night coffee ice cream & hot choc fudge sauce on Saturday night, talking about life. Chit chat. Deep chat. Everything in between.

And I got called out. Caroline asked me questions I wasn’t anticipating. I won’t go into the subject matter here, but she pulled me up on something I’ve continued having & doing; about whether it’s good for me, for my heart. She suggested giving my heart some space by stopping/ removing it.

I resented it. I glossed over it. I defended it.

But really, she’s right. It’s been months, and she’s been the first person to suggest it, to ask me about it. It was painful, and I wanted to move off it quickly. My words and my actions still don’t quite match up when it comes to honesty, to making myself vulnerable before people.

I am so grateful for friends who call me out on stuff, who are not afraid to tell it like it is.


So yea, there’ll be some changes in my life. Minor ones, that you’ll probably never see.

But I will.

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