Musings

Vulnerability, Pain & Ice Cream

You might have noticed a theme in my Oxford trip, and in my trips generally: food.

I love food. Love the different textures and tastes, the sights and smells. Love how a simple smell can get me salivating.

Oxford was no different than my usual trips. A milkshake here. Some Moroccan tapas there. A fresh cookie here. The best ice cream I’ve ever tasted there.

ice cream

We sat over a late night coffee ice cream & hot choc fudge sauce on Saturday night, talking about life. Chit chat. Deep chat. Everything in between.

And I got called out. Caroline asked me questions I wasn’t anticipating. I won’t go into the subject matter here, but she pulled me up on something I’ve continued having & doing; about whether it’s good for me, for my heart. She suggested giving my heart some space by stopping/ removing it.

I resented it. I glossed over it. I defended it.

But really, she’s right. It’s been months, and she’s been the first person to suggest it, to ask me about it. It was painful, and I wanted to move off it quickly. My words and my actions still don’t quite match up when it comes to honesty, to making myself vulnerable before people.

I am so grateful for friends who call me out on stuff, who are not afraid to tell it like it is.

empty_icecream

So yea, there’ll be some changes in my life. Minor ones, that you’ll probably never see.

But I will.

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