I've had a bit of a weird time lately. Been thinking a lot about my future, and especially about marriage, family, etc. I'll be honest… I met this guy a good while ago who so totally captivated me… he was (is?) everything I wanted in a guy and so much more. He was the kind of guy that when you spend time with him or even just are talkig to him on the phone, he sparks a fire in your heart, makes you want to be more like Jesus, makes me want to know Jesus more. His passion is infectious… you couldn't escape it. As far as I was concerned, he was "The One". And yet we are not together. We have never been together. Now, we see each other very little, and hardly ever talk or email. And that's so hard sometimes.
Then yesterday I was reading a blog post, and it was like… BANG! There it is. The guy who wrote it was talking about the break-up of his relationship, and while I never dated the aforementioned guy, it resonated with me deeply. He talked about how even though we may not really believe in "The One", we still want it to happen to us. [Check]. He talked about how you keep noting in your journal the date you are finally free from thinking about the other person… and again. And again. [Check]. He talked about having your prayers come full circle from "God help me" to "teach me some lesson through this" to "surely You have a plan for this pain" to "God help me" again. [Check].
And then came these words:
"We need to wrap our minds around the concept that somehow, some way, we can be happy and whole and full again… I held unto the truth even when the thought of a new love terrified me ."
Wow. Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. I still don't know if this guy is "The One" for me. But I am learning (slowly) to trust in God's truth. Even if he is not, there is still hope for me. I can love again. There is hope.